I've been trying very hard to cook more throughout the week. With the addition of Bonus Baby, time has become a major issue for trying to get meals ready after I'm cut loose from all the kids. As a professional fake chef, I never spent much time with crock pots during my cooking endeavours. Several years ago, a friend decided it would be funny to give Capn' Fakecookin the devil's cooking pot. After I made the leap to being at home with the kids, I realized that they are in fact quite useful. My apologies to people who I may have insulted over the years based on nothing more than their ownership of this appliance.
Melissa and I are picky eaters, so most recipes need a little adjustment and some just won't work. Plus, many of the foods we want to eat most often don't get the best results from hours in a crock pot. Things like...BBQ. I have looked up a great number of recipes over the past year, all promising amazing pulled pork, ribs, BBQ chicken, and basically every cut of everything from nothing more than the Ronco philosophy of set it and forget it. The principles of the recipes have all been the same. A little seasoning, perhaps an onion, and then dump a bottle of BBQ sauce over the meat and leave it on low for however many hours.
Review after review gave top marks to many of these recipes as a way to get all that BBQ flavor without the constant tending needed for smoking or grilling. Personally, I never saw these results from any of the recipes. Some of them were...okay, but I wasn't looking for just okay. I needed something awesome. One day, with great hope, I found a crock pot rib recipe that had one of those pictures designed to make you hungry. It worked. I added ribs to our meal plan the following week.
The recipe was ultimately the same as most crock pot BBQ recipes, but I had a plan! I was going to use my home-made dry rub on the ribs AND I was going to use a glazing sauce I had made up when I did some real smoked ribs earlier this year. I figured that the taste should be pretty amazing, even if the results were a little underwhelming.
Meticulously I followed the directions which promised that "fall off the bone" tenderness that some people really get excited about. Fake chef cooking tip: If you are unable to take a bite of the rib without all of meat falling off - you shouldn't be bragging. Likewise if you can't pick up the rib by the bone without the meat falling off - you am cook it wrongbad.
As usual, the great thing about this was being able to keep up with three kids and know that dinner was working the whole time. The house smelled amazing all day, and I'm happy to take the credit there. After almost ten hours (the recipe recommended twelve) it was close to our slightly sad, early-bird special, dinner time. So I checked the ribs to see how things were progressing. I used a big set of tongs and gently lifted a set of ribs out of the sweet and spicy sauce. It was already far gone - just way too tender. The meat just sort of dissolved as you picked it up, a great idea for pulled pork perhaps, but not ribs. Additionally, the sauce and spices had clearly seeped into the meat, which you would think is great, but there just wasn't the flavor. It was just color. We had to use extra sauce just to get any form of "BBQ" flavor.
I will not give up, though I will put out the call. If you have a great crock pot recipe - particularly one for BBQ - that you really love, please share it!
Also, when I have perfected my crock pot pizza - I will let everyone know.
Showing posts with label Reviews. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Reviews. Show all posts
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Friday, August 10, 2012
Art to Adorable
In a long list of things we needed to finalize in Florida before we moved to Idaho, I was told very sternly to get into my father's attic and clean out several boxes of random items that had been kept from my childhood. There was an endless pile of drawings from all throughout my life. Melissa insisted I keep a few from my high school art classes, but did not object to getting rid of my detailed blueprints for a spaceship. One unfortunate side effect of divorce, something the psychiatrists won't tell you, is that your childhood scribbles and memorabilia tends to split up as well. While that's all perfectly sensible, parents seem to go through a stage in life where hanging on to a picture of an unidentifiable blue mass is no longer important. So after feeling I'd seen the last odd box containing an MC Hammer concert ticket at my dad's house, I was a little frustrated to start the process over with a steady line of packages sent from my mom.
There was some element of fun in looking through all the drawings and school projects, most of which I had long forgotten. Still, I was not compelled at all to keep any of it and most ended up in the trash. I meant no offense to my parents by it, I'm sure at some point those things held meaning, but I couldn't help but think how long that stuff sat around waiting to be thrown away. I just barely want to show the boys the stuff Melissa made me keep, let alone proclaim, "Yes! Daddy was the one who drew...that."
We have one art project that William did adorning our refrigerator door. He wanted to decorate a cake like daddy does, isn't that sweet? So we found a cake picture from a coloring book and he went nuts with it. Outside of that, the boys are not at an age yet where they've attempted to actually draw anything.
I got to thinking a little bit, and I don't want this to come across as insensitive. I was wondering how long you need to keep something on the fridge before it's acceptable to take it down. Not that I'm saying parents ever get bored with seeing the artistic stages of their children displayed, but seriously, you have to run out of space eventually right? I'm sure not everyone is like us, but we keep a great deal of information on our refrigerator because it is a major focal point. Keeping things like important phone numbers, any number of reminders, or just a nice simple family photo takes up valuable real estate. Of course there's the technology to consider as well. Undoubtedly Apple will come out with the iFridge because we've all been there in the moment when you realize that you can't check facebook while opening the door and getting all the breakfast necessities out for the kiddos. I'm pretty excited. Likely we'll be able to store billions of their pictures in some kind of app, but there's nothing quite as personal as seeing the drawing in real life.
That's what I thought anyway...
Till I saw a feature on one of my favorite websites promoting a company called "Child's Own Studio" and if you're like me, you'll be blown away at what they do. Clearly companies like this have been around for some time, which is sad because I have plenty of friends with kids but I've never seen them mention this type of service. I think this is the type of thing parents love! I looked through a mountain of drawings I had done over my life and felt no spark of attachment, but I think having the one stuffed toy based on a drawing by me, that was special to my parents, would certainly be a bit of a treasured item. Needless to say it would be one of those items that the boys are not allowed to touch until they understand how to not destroy everything.
I became very excited by the prospect of turning artwork into something the boys could hold, sleep next to, and find comfort with. Sadly, with the amazing gallery must have come popularity as described on the studio's contact page saying they are working their way through a backlog of orders and are therefore not accepting new orders at this time. So perhaps even more awesome of Child's Own, they have provided a list of alternative places where you can find this type of service. That's if you're not willing to wait I assume.
I am so very fascinated with this so please, if you have used a place like this before or you, like me, are intrigued and go forth to have a toy made, leave a comment! Let myself and all the readers know how your experience was, and by all means send me a picture of the finished product!
There was some element of fun in looking through all the drawings and school projects, most of which I had long forgotten. Still, I was not compelled at all to keep any of it and most ended up in the trash. I meant no offense to my parents by it, I'm sure at some point those things held meaning, but I couldn't help but think how long that stuff sat around waiting to be thrown away. I just barely want to show the boys the stuff Melissa made me keep, let alone proclaim, "Yes! Daddy was the one who drew...that."
We have one art project that William did adorning our refrigerator door. He wanted to decorate a cake like daddy does, isn't that sweet? So we found a cake picture from a coloring book and he went nuts with it. Outside of that, the boys are not at an age yet where they've attempted to actually draw anything.
I got to thinking a little bit, and I don't want this to come across as insensitive. I was wondering how long you need to keep something on the fridge before it's acceptable to take it down. Not that I'm saying parents ever get bored with seeing the artistic stages of their children displayed, but seriously, you have to run out of space eventually right? I'm sure not everyone is like us, but we keep a great deal of information on our refrigerator because it is a major focal point. Keeping things like important phone numbers, any number of reminders, or just a nice simple family photo takes up valuable real estate. Of course there's the technology to consider as well. Undoubtedly Apple will come out with the iFridge because we've all been there in the moment when you realize that you can't check facebook while opening the door and getting all the breakfast necessities out for the kiddos. I'm pretty excited. Likely we'll be able to store billions of their pictures in some kind of app, but there's nothing quite as personal as seeing the drawing in real life.
That's what I thought anyway...
Till I saw a feature on one of my favorite websites promoting a company called "Child's Own Studio" and if you're like me, you'll be blown away at what they do. Clearly companies like this have been around for some time, which is sad because I have plenty of friends with kids but I've never seen them mention this type of service. I think this is the type of thing parents love! I looked through a mountain of drawings I had done over my life and felt no spark of attachment, but I think having the one stuffed toy based on a drawing by me, that was special to my parents, would certainly be a bit of a treasured item. Needless to say it would be one of those items that the boys are not allowed to touch until they understand how to not destroy everything.
I became very excited by the prospect of turning artwork into something the boys could hold, sleep next to, and find comfort with. Sadly, with the amazing gallery must have come popularity as described on the studio's contact page saying they are working their way through a backlog of orders and are therefore not accepting new orders at this time. So perhaps even more awesome of Child's Own, they have provided a list of alternative places where you can find this type of service. That's if you're not willing to wait I assume.
I am so very fascinated with this so please, if you have used a place like this before or you, like me, are intrigued and go forth to have a toy made, leave a comment! Let myself and all the readers know how your experience was, and by all means send me a picture of the finished product!
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
The Dad Life Goes Aquatic
The last big stop on our staycation was the Idaho Aquarium.
Before I get into this, I'd like to reiterate a point I made in my post talking about our trip to Zoo Boise. The Idaho Aquarium has been in the works for quite some time, and financially it's been nothing but an uphill battle. There have been countless fundraisers and pleas for donations to the public, and in all honesty I'm really happy for the people involved that this dream has become a reality. Sadly though, lots of people who insist that Boise is the type of city deserving of high quality, tourist-drawing destinations are the same people who won't do anything to help bring these places into the area. When Melissa and I decided we wanted kids we didn't just complain to the city, we took action. So we're faced with this issue. It's great that we have an aquarium, but you can't do much without proper support and funding. I feel bad to some extent, but my point is that I understand their situation and I did keep that in mind during our trip there.
So just like my Zoo Boise post, this story got interesting right as we entered the parking lot. I'm really going to try throughout this post to not be overly mean, but the aquarium is located right by our local mall, across the street from a Sheriff's office, and shares a strip mall with two bail bond places and a mattress place. Seriously. That was the location that people scouted and haggled over. Architects spent days drawing up detailed plans that had been discussed with the aquarium staff to ensure things were laid out in a specific way. Construction workers spent weeks building the inside, sculpting the fake rocks to make the fish feel comfortable when they were added, and adding giant filtration systems so that fish that don't even exist yet would someday be added and be able to survive in the water they use. I just don't understand what drew them to that spot. Maybe it was close to someone's house.
Next comes the price. I've said several times that for us, we live by the idea that ticket costs for our family only need to be justified by the ability to get our money's worth out of the visit. I hope that makes sense to other people. Fourteen dollars for an hour long trip to the zoo is not too bad. For the aquarium, prices were $9 each for Melissa and I, $6 for William (12 and under pricing) and Carter was free (2 and under pricing). $24, and ya know, that's really not expensive. The problem for me was what we got out of that $24, and it really didn't seem like much.
So, the inside. Right off that bat it was pretty clear that they were fishing (PUN!) for a certain audience. When you walk into this very warehouse style area you are instantly greeted by a large open-top tank filled with all the familiar fish from "Finding Nemo." Okay, ha ha, I see what you did there. It kept both boys in total amazement for what felt like a while, but we found it a challenge to keep up with William. The large tank was made as a feeding area. For an additional three dollars you could get food to feed certain fish, and the tank was very low to the ground to help with that. Low enough, you might say, to entice a very excited toddler to jump in and swim with his favorite fish in the world. So we found ourselves in deep water (PUN!) trying to battle between moving on to the other tanks and William so desperate to stay and jump in with "Nemo."
With such a grand entrance, it was unfortunate that most of the tanks within the aquarium walls are no bigger than anything you'd buy for your own home, and more than a few house the famous clown fish. There was another larger tank filled with small sharks and sting rays, another area that we found difficult to get William to leave. We found that even though it was not exactly crowded within the aquarium, the sharks and rays tank was the most interesting thing and was therefore quickly overwhelming for the boys. There was actually a really neat area for starfish made out of an old boat, but while Melissa and I thought it was interesting, the boys did not.
The two bigger tanks held the attention of the majority of the people, the majority of the time, and why shouldn't they? The alternatives just couldn't compete. There was also an octopus, a few reptiles, and a new puffin area, but none of them could pull people away from the two bigger tanks. There was also, according to their website, supposed to be a loggerhead turtle which was nowhere to be found. They are also trying to raise money for a 130,000 gallon tank to be filled with sharks and rays that people will swim with, as well as a seal at some point. Honestly, I can't imagine where that is going to fit because at a normal walking pace I could go from start to finish in two minutes. Considering the adult price is two dollars more than the zoo, that hardly seems worth it, someday perhaps. They don't seem to be using the right bait (PUN!) to get people in the door.
How about something positive...
A very unexpected, very cool thing happened as we were milling around the exit area trying to decide how many times we should go back to the beginning and start the process over to make the trip worth it. There is a sort of learning area at the end with lots of books and a desk are where kids can color in books that have fish that surprisingly were not clown fish. As I was making a mental note that the last fish tank held lion fish, meaning we start with "Finding Nemo" and end with "Deuce Bigalow" a staff member rounded up kids who might have been there as a group, and read them all one of the books. I really liked that moment.
So will we be going back? Again, like the zoo we don't really have options for this type of entertainment. When the boys are a bit older and understand they can't just jump in with the fish it will be easier, of course it will also be more expensive when we have to pay for Carter. As the aquarium continues to ask for money and have fundraisers it is possible that things make great forward strides. Till then, we watch "Finding Nemo" all the time and we can get our fill of clown fish that way.
Before I get into this, I'd like to reiterate a point I made in my post talking about our trip to Zoo Boise. The Idaho Aquarium has been in the works for quite some time, and financially it's been nothing but an uphill battle. There have been countless fundraisers and pleas for donations to the public, and in all honesty I'm really happy for the people involved that this dream has become a reality. Sadly though, lots of people who insist that Boise is the type of city deserving of high quality, tourist-drawing destinations are the same people who won't do anything to help bring these places into the area. When Melissa and I decided we wanted kids we didn't just complain to the city, we took action. So we're faced with this issue. It's great that we have an aquarium, but you can't do much without proper support and funding. I feel bad to some extent, but my point is that I understand their situation and I did keep that in mind during our trip there.
So just like my Zoo Boise post, this story got interesting right as we entered the parking lot. I'm really going to try throughout this post to not be overly mean, but the aquarium is located right by our local mall, across the street from a Sheriff's office, and shares a strip mall with two bail bond places and a mattress place. Seriously. That was the location that people scouted and haggled over. Architects spent days drawing up detailed plans that had been discussed with the aquarium staff to ensure things were laid out in a specific way. Construction workers spent weeks building the inside, sculpting the fake rocks to make the fish feel comfortable when they were added, and adding giant filtration systems so that fish that don't even exist yet would someday be added and be able to survive in the water they use. I just don't understand what drew them to that spot. Maybe it was close to someone's house.
Next comes the price. I've said several times that for us, we live by the idea that ticket costs for our family only need to be justified by the ability to get our money's worth out of the visit. I hope that makes sense to other people. Fourteen dollars for an hour long trip to the zoo is not too bad. For the aquarium, prices were $9 each for Melissa and I, $6 for William (12 and under pricing) and Carter was free (2 and under pricing). $24, and ya know, that's really not expensive. The problem for me was what we got out of that $24, and it really didn't seem like much.
So, the inside. Right off that bat it was pretty clear that they were fishing (PUN!) for a certain audience. When you walk into this very warehouse style area you are instantly greeted by a large open-top tank filled with all the familiar fish from "Finding Nemo." Okay, ha ha, I see what you did there. It kept both boys in total amazement for what felt like a while, but we found it a challenge to keep up with William. The large tank was made as a feeding area. For an additional three dollars you could get food to feed certain fish, and the tank was very low to the ground to help with that. Low enough, you might say, to entice a very excited toddler to jump in and swim with his favorite fish in the world. So we found ourselves in deep water (PUN!) trying to battle between moving on to the other tanks and William so desperate to stay and jump in with "Nemo."
With such a grand entrance, it was unfortunate that most of the tanks within the aquarium walls are no bigger than anything you'd buy for your own home, and more than a few house the famous clown fish. There was another larger tank filled with small sharks and sting rays, another area that we found difficult to get William to leave. We found that even though it was not exactly crowded within the aquarium, the sharks and rays tank was the most interesting thing and was therefore quickly overwhelming for the boys. There was actually a really neat area for starfish made out of an old boat, but while Melissa and I thought it was interesting, the boys did not.
The two bigger tanks held the attention of the majority of the people, the majority of the time, and why shouldn't they? The alternatives just couldn't compete. There was also an octopus, a few reptiles, and a new puffin area, but none of them could pull people away from the two bigger tanks. There was also, according to their website, supposed to be a loggerhead turtle which was nowhere to be found. They are also trying to raise money for a 130,000 gallon tank to be filled with sharks and rays that people will swim with, as well as a seal at some point. Honestly, I can't imagine where that is going to fit because at a normal walking pace I could go from start to finish in two minutes. Considering the adult price is two dollars more than the zoo, that hardly seems worth it, someday perhaps. They don't seem to be using the right bait (PUN!) to get people in the door.
How about something positive...
A very unexpected, very cool thing happened as we were milling around the exit area trying to decide how many times we should go back to the beginning and start the process over to make the trip worth it. There is a sort of learning area at the end with lots of books and a desk are where kids can color in books that have fish that surprisingly were not clown fish. As I was making a mental note that the last fish tank held lion fish, meaning we start with "Finding Nemo" and end with "Deuce Bigalow" a staff member rounded up kids who might have been there as a group, and read them all one of the books. I really liked that moment.
So will we be going back? Again, like the zoo we don't really have options for this type of entertainment. When the boys are a bit older and understand they can't just jump in with the fish it will be easier, of course it will also be more expensive when we have to pay for Carter. As the aquarium continues to ask for money and have fundraisers it is possible that things make great forward strides. Till then, we watch "Finding Nemo" all the time and we can get our fill of clown fish that way.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
The Daddy Meck will make ya, Jump! Jump!
When I was young, I was a big fan of places like Chuck E. Cheese's and Showbiz Pizza. Of course it had nothing to do with the pizza served, but there's something amazing about walking into a place like that and trying to take in all the sights, sounds, colors, and smells. Heck, I still get a little twitch of excitement when I see a row of skee ball tracks. I like skee ball.
As I got a bit older, arcades became my biggest draw. Thinking back to those days I remember spending a great deal of time trying to persuade my mom to let me go to the arcades that inhabited every mall around. Were we really at the mall that often? We must have gone enough to make those memories pretty vivid.
By the time I hit middle school there was a whole new level of play place in the world. Huge warehouse sized buildings filled with "safe" playground style equipment that you could pay a small price and play on for the entire day. Great value for parents, but in the end it was just a large version of all the McDonald's or Burger King playgrounds. I went a few times to those places, and they were okay, but there's only so many times I'm willing to jump into a ball pit that smells like pee.
Kids have it easy today.
Almost two years ago, I started to hear a little buzz about a new breed of place for kids to play. A place where the always popular bounce houses were brought inside and combined with room-sized trampolines. I can't speak for every child in the world, but I know I had my share of dreams involving a mansion that had one room where the entire floor was a trampoline. Someday.
Locally, we have Jump Time Idaho, and I could not be more pleased with our visit.
The continuous challenge for us as parents with young children, is finding a place where we can let our guard down a little. This is where Jump Time Idaho delivers, and I mean that in no small way. Sometimes we have trouble taking the boys to places because we're worried about what they might break or if might be remotely child safe. So I ask you, what could be more safe than an place where falling is part of the fun?
We took the boys to the area called Jump Time Junior, a special section for children seven and under. At ages three and one, the grand total for full day (without leaving) access was three dollars. THREE! I can hardly comment on customer service as once inside there was little responsibility for them, however, at one point a large inflatable slide began to lose air and once notified the staff had everything fixed up in minutes. That works for me.
Within the Jump Time Junior section there was a very large trampoline area with room for plenty of kids, a very cool foam pit, several inflatable bounce houses and slides, as well as a few plastic play things which was a great way for the kids to break up the bouncing with something familiar. Pretty brilliant idea on their part.
It's hard to put into words the pure joy for both William and Carter as they ran through the different areas jumping instead of walking and bumping into countless other children, all with a smile. Yeah, yeah, so they still need work with their socialization, but Jump Time Idaho is the type of place where real progress can happen. It was truly amazing for Melissa and I to not need to hover over them, especially Carter. I really can't name another place (that isn't our house) where I've ever felt so comfortable keeping my distance from Carter, it's a pretty special feeling. Well worth three dollars.
I would like to mention one last thing, and you're going to want to lean in close for this...psst...it isn't just for kids. I don't side-step the facts: I'm really out of shape, but seriously, for eight to nine dollars an hour (depends on the day) I would love to spend some time perfecting a sweet backflip. My plan is to wink in mid-air at the ladies like Lightening McQueen.
From their website, "Jump Time promotes a safe and fun environment while providing great exercise for the whole family" and I couldn't say it better. So thank you Jump Time Idaho, for being exactly that.
Look for indoor trampoline parks near you! I even found this place which has locations all across the country. Indoor activities have certainly changed since I was young, but I'll gladly take the foam pit over the foam-flavored pizza.
As I got a bit older, arcades became my biggest draw. Thinking back to those days I remember spending a great deal of time trying to persuade my mom to let me go to the arcades that inhabited every mall around. Were we really at the mall that often? We must have gone enough to make those memories pretty vivid.
By the time I hit middle school there was a whole new level of play place in the world. Huge warehouse sized buildings filled with "safe" playground style equipment that you could pay a small price and play on for the entire day. Great value for parents, but in the end it was just a large version of all the McDonald's or Burger King playgrounds. I went a few times to those places, and they were okay, but there's only so many times I'm willing to jump into a ball pit that smells like pee.
Kids have it easy today.
Almost two years ago, I started to hear a little buzz about a new breed of place for kids to play. A place where the always popular bounce houses were brought inside and combined with room-sized trampolines. I can't speak for every child in the world, but I know I had my share of dreams involving a mansion that had one room where the entire floor was a trampoline. Someday.
Locally, we have Jump Time Idaho, and I could not be more pleased with our visit.
The continuous challenge for us as parents with young children, is finding a place where we can let our guard down a little. This is where Jump Time Idaho delivers, and I mean that in no small way. Sometimes we have trouble taking the boys to places because we're worried about what they might break or if might be remotely child safe. So I ask you, what could be more safe than an place where falling is part of the fun?
We took the boys to the area called Jump Time Junior, a special section for children seven and under. At ages three and one, the grand total for full day (without leaving) access was three dollars. THREE! I can hardly comment on customer service as once inside there was little responsibility for them, however, at one point a large inflatable slide began to lose air and once notified the staff had everything fixed up in minutes. That works for me.
Within the Jump Time Junior section there was a very large trampoline area with room for plenty of kids, a very cool foam pit, several inflatable bounce houses and slides, as well as a few plastic play things which was a great way for the kids to break up the bouncing with something familiar. Pretty brilliant idea on their part.
It's hard to put into words the pure joy for both William and Carter as they ran through the different areas jumping instead of walking and bumping into countless other children, all with a smile. Yeah, yeah, so they still need work with their socialization, but Jump Time Idaho is the type of place where real progress can happen. It was truly amazing for Melissa and I to not need to hover over them, especially Carter. I really can't name another place (that isn't our house) where I've ever felt so comfortable keeping my distance from Carter, it's a pretty special feeling. Well worth three dollars.
I would like to mention one last thing, and you're going to want to lean in close for this...psst...it isn't just for kids. I don't side-step the facts: I'm really out of shape, but seriously, for eight to nine dollars an hour (depends on the day) I would love to spend some time perfecting a sweet backflip. My plan is to wink in mid-air at the ladies like Lightening McQueen.
From their website, "Jump Time promotes a safe and fun environment while providing great exercise for the whole family" and I couldn't say it better. So thank you Jump Time Idaho, for being exactly that.
Look for indoor trampoline parks near you! I even found this place which has locations all across the country. Indoor activities have certainly changed since I was young, but I'll gladly take the foam pit over the foam-flavored pizza.
Friday, June 29, 2012
A Person More Talented Than Me!
If you're like me, you probably read that title and started thinking of a very long list of people. Don't feel too bad for me; earlier this week I had someone tell me that my cakes are the BEST (they used all caps). I do things.
While you and your friends do a march madness style bracket of people I could possibly be referring to, I'm gonna move on.
I'm not sure how much insight into my personal character you are able to grasp as a reader. Obviously at this point I want people to enjoy my writing. I hope over time that more people will feel inclined to come back on a regular basis and tell their friends, but at the moment it's hard to tell where things are going and where I fit into the lives of what often feels like a very short list of people who stumble into my little world here. Am I just the handsome comedian to people? The super intelligent handsome humorist? Perhaps you think I'm a total jerk, who is handsome. Do I let the light shine on your heart the way Linus vows the Great Pumpkin will pave the way for the magical spirit of Halloween? I may never know, but I'll let you all in on a little secret.
I like nerdy, geeky stuff.
That's why I love James Hance.
Now before I go further I want to be clear that the following are my own opinions and while the timing of my post is certainly not a coincidence, I am getting nothing to plead with you to go spend lots and lots of money on his amazing work.
So enough delay, go right here.
The title at the top says it all for me. "Relentlessly Cheerful Art." Not just cheerful art, relentlessly cheerful art! Art so cheerful that it refuses to not cheerful at you. That alone is so awesome that you might forget that there's so much more to his site.
The perfect place to start is on his prints page where the magic of his mind becomes almost overwhelming. Look, I have my little nerd loves, so when I find a guy who takes things two things I enjoy in an obsessive kind of way like the movie "Shawn of the Dead" and the Muppets I am a pretty happy camper. I could sit here and link picture after picture, but seriously, just go look! There is something you'll love, and better yet, there's something you can share with your kids. For only 10 bucks you get an amazing, high-quality print, and look at the sizes! How am I so sure of the quality? We've purchased two prints and a very awesome shirt (which are also extremely well made and at $25 is certainly affordable). There's also kids size clothing, stickers, ipod and iphone cases, and hoodies. Don't you just want to hold hands with someone and hop around in a state of gleeful euphoria?!
Now the reason I have chosen to post about this fantastic dreamaginationer at this specific point in time is his latest book, which I'm so giddy for that every so often Melissa has to put me on my back and rub my belly to calm me down like a shark. Now Mr. Hance has already put out one book which I have sadly not purchased as of yet, but believe me, I plan on it. Both prints we own are from the "Wookie the Chew" series, and William loves them. I don't need to have a copy of his previous writing in my hand to know that a mash-up of "Winnie the Pooh" which is one of William's favorite things in the world, and "Star Wars" which I love, is going to be an instant hit in this household. That's exactly why I'm so very excited for his new book. "Goodnight, Pond" is a brilliant idea which again, seems taken from a list of most favorite things ever for William and myself. It combines "Goodnight, Moon" which I'm sure like many of you, I have read so many times that I not only know the words from memory, but I can point to every object in the room without so much as a glance, AND DOCTOR WHO!!! Seriously, my biggest dilemma with this book is how many to buy, because if it follows the lifespan of the other three "Goodnight, Moon" books that we have bought for William...this book will be eaten. Probably need a backup. Or 7.
Now, if you have lasted this long without just throwing in the towel to the idea that "Ev has a man-crush on this guy" I'd like to bring up one last thing - he's a dad. Better yet, he's a dad doing everything he can to take care of his little girl. Her story and information on how you can get involved can be found here. I've said it before, and it might always be true, within the blogging world I am no one. If you don't want to believe me that minivans are a great purchase for your family, then okay. However, James Hance is a person far more talented than me, and I'm certainly moved by his abilities and by the story of his daughter; I think you will be too.
So I urge you to go and find joy in his artwork, and if you can help with funds to his little girl then do! Having his artwork in the house for months now I can certainly attest to the fact that it will always be boldly in your face, unapologetically turning the corners of your mouth upward. You will find yourself relentlessly cheered.
Go! Tell him I sent you! He'll say, "Who?" That's just this thing we do...
While you and your friends do a march madness style bracket of people I could possibly be referring to, I'm gonna move on.
I'm not sure how much insight into my personal character you are able to grasp as a reader. Obviously at this point I want people to enjoy my writing. I hope over time that more people will feel inclined to come back on a regular basis and tell their friends, but at the moment it's hard to tell where things are going and where I fit into the lives of what often feels like a very short list of people who stumble into my little world here. Am I just the handsome comedian to people? The super intelligent handsome humorist? Perhaps you think I'm a total jerk, who is handsome. Do I let the light shine on your heart the way Linus vows the Great Pumpkin will pave the way for the magical spirit of Halloween? I may never know, but I'll let you all in on a little secret.
I like nerdy, geeky stuff.
That's why I love James Hance.
Now before I go further I want to be clear that the following are my own opinions and while the timing of my post is certainly not a coincidence, I am getting nothing to plead with you to go spend lots and lots of money on his amazing work.
So enough delay, go right here.
The title at the top says it all for me. "Relentlessly Cheerful Art." Not just cheerful art, relentlessly cheerful art! Art so cheerful that it refuses to not cheerful at you. That alone is so awesome that you might forget that there's so much more to his site.
The perfect place to start is on his prints page where the magic of his mind becomes almost overwhelming. Look, I have my little nerd loves, so when I find a guy who takes things two things I enjoy in an obsessive kind of way like the movie "Shawn of the Dead" and the Muppets I am a pretty happy camper. I could sit here and link picture after picture, but seriously, just go look! There is something you'll love, and better yet, there's something you can share with your kids. For only 10 bucks you get an amazing, high-quality print, and look at the sizes! How am I so sure of the quality? We've purchased two prints and a very awesome shirt (which are also extremely well made and at $25 is certainly affordable). There's also kids size clothing, stickers, ipod and iphone cases, and hoodies. Don't you just want to hold hands with someone and hop around in a state of gleeful euphoria?!
Now the reason I have chosen to post about this fantastic dreamaginationer at this specific point in time is his latest book, which I'm so giddy for that every so often Melissa has to put me on my back and rub my belly to calm me down like a shark. Now Mr. Hance has already put out one book which I have sadly not purchased as of yet, but believe me, I plan on it. Both prints we own are from the "Wookie the Chew" series, and William loves them. I don't need to have a copy of his previous writing in my hand to know that a mash-up of "Winnie the Pooh" which is one of William's favorite things in the world, and "Star Wars" which I love, is going to be an instant hit in this household. That's exactly why I'm so very excited for his new book. "Goodnight, Pond" is a brilliant idea which again, seems taken from a list of most favorite things ever for William and myself. It combines "Goodnight, Moon" which I'm sure like many of you, I have read so many times that I not only know the words from memory, but I can point to every object in the room without so much as a glance, AND DOCTOR WHO!!! Seriously, my biggest dilemma with this book is how many to buy, because if it follows the lifespan of the other three "Goodnight, Moon" books that we have bought for William...this book will be eaten. Probably need a backup. Or 7.
Now, if you have lasted this long without just throwing in the towel to the idea that "Ev has a man-crush on this guy" I'd like to bring up one last thing - he's a dad. Better yet, he's a dad doing everything he can to take care of his little girl. Her story and information on how you can get involved can be found here. I've said it before, and it might always be true, within the blogging world I am no one. If you don't want to believe me that minivans are a great purchase for your family, then okay. However, James Hance is a person far more talented than me, and I'm certainly moved by his abilities and by the story of his daughter; I think you will be too.
So I urge you to go and find joy in his artwork, and if you can help with funds to his little girl then do! Having his artwork in the house for months now I can certainly attest to the fact that it will always be boldly in your face, unapologetically turning the corners of your mouth upward. You will find yourself relentlessly cheered.
Go! Tell him I sent you! He'll say, "Who?" That's just this thing we do...
Monday, June 25, 2012
The ManVan
My Mom once told me that another in the long list of things you give up as a parent is the right to get that car you "want." She assured me that when the kids are older, there's a chance that I'll have a shot at that dream car again, but you never know.
------------------
I have friends who would say that I've owned a lot of vehicles. They might be right, but it really doesn't feel that way. I've had 4 total vehicles at 32 years old. 3 of the 4 were used.
My first car was a 1990 Dodge Shadow. It had a ton of miles, no air conditioning (in Florida), and the interior was really rough. I loved that car. It was probably that first car brainwash, but there really was something about it for me. Between help from my Dad and those crazy Pizza Hut paychecks I was getting, it turned into something I was proud to drive around.
The second car originally belonged to my sister. I took her 1996 Honda Civic hatchback, and she traded in the Shadow for her newest ride. I never quite settled into it. It was a great car, and I really can't say enough positive things about Honda vehicles, but the trade occurred at a time when I needed a bit more space. I was playing guitar in my high school's jazz band and between my guitar, giant amplifier, clarinet(that's right, I can trill like a badass), percussion stuff, and school books...well I tested out every cubic inch of possible storage that's for sure. I wasn't sad to see it go.
Third on the list will always get me a little choked up. My glorious Honda CR-V. The way I see it, there's two ways to shop for a vehicle. You can shop for the looks, which seems to end with that familiar buyer's remorse, or you can buy for needs. I think if you get a vehicle that has everything you need, you'll end up happier for a longer period of time. This of course extends the length you'll own your vehicle before getting bored with it. I never got tired of the CR-V, but it did get tired of running. After almost 12 years of fighting the good fight, it just couldn't keep going without the need for some heavier repairs. I'll put it this way, the trade in value of it by the end, mostly due to high mileage, was almost the same as the cost to fix it.
Which brings me to September of last year, and that's 2011 for you future mega-fans who are going back through the posting history.
We took a trip to Medford, Oregon. A very beautiful 10 hour drive in which we'd be transporting the following: Wife, Boys, my Mom, Me, luggage to cover 5 people for 4 days including lots of diaper related gear, additional fancy clothes for the wedding/dress rehearsal, double stroller, AND since I was doing the wedding cake I had an arsenal of mixers and decorating supplies. Now you might look at that list and say to yourself, "I wonder if he made little premixes of the cakes so he didn't have to buy everything in a town he wasn't familiar with." Well I did, and I'm happy to never try to bake/decorate a cake out of state ever again. I spent so much of the time feeling stressed that I don't know if I really said much of a "congratulations" to the bride and groom.
*pause for you to do a whiny impersonation of me in your head*
On the other hand, the minivan we rented to accommodate ourselves and what seemed like enough random items to fill an IKEA, was simply amazing...and less embarrassing to drive than you might think.
So this is sort of a review, and a story that lead me to the purchase of the ManVan. I am not being paid for my opinions on this vehicle and I was not asked by any person from any car companies to give a review, but here it is anyway.
---------------------
I've honestly liked minivans since I was very young. From the perspective of a little kid, there's just something really cool about having enough room to have little adventures in your own little world (while being safely buckled into your seat...I always wore a seat belt *wink*). On longer family trips the back seat was used as a bed for my siblings and I, in sort of a rotation system. There was always room for everyone to bring just about everything they owned, and yet somehow you still had access to at least two cup-holders. Minivans are a magical land, not unlike a T.A.R.D.I.S. (you're welcome, Dr. Who fans), in that they are bigger on the inside then you can believe.
Of course, the way the minivan handled or comfort to the driver; anything that might be important to the person who owned the van was never something I gave any interest. I could lay down in the back row with 5 sodas and the biggest walkman the world had ever seen, jamming out to The Boys, what did I care if the driver had no lumbar support?
When we first hopped into the rental, I was very impressed. I guess I really hadn't been in a minivan in quite some time, and without really taking note of changes being made in the minivan world over the years, I was pleasently surprised at how nice it was. It was a 2012 Chrysler Town and Country, and it was in about as perfect shape as you could ever hope for from a rental company. The first thing I noticed was that the interior space didn't feel like it had changed drastically over the years, but don't mistake that for a criticism, you'll have all the space you could ever ask for in a minivan. The second thing I noticed was that, thanks in no small part to the amazing technology we have nowadays, everything was very high tech. Touch-screen radio with navigation, power everything, and dual-zone air conditioning at the front that worked by specific temperature! Not that crappy blue to red zone junk that you can never get to just the right setting. There was also rear A/C controls for people in the back, as well as a special lighting strip down the middle of the ceiling to be used at night for that perfect little touch of light. It looked like the kind of lighting people would have installed in a limo. For the people up front, there was a total of 6 cup-holders, though two were designed to be accessible by the middle row of seats. The driver's seat had a 6 way electric adjustable setting, to get yourself as cozy as possible. Tons of controls at your fingertips, but not so many as to clutter the steering wheel. Then, my favorite part - "Stow 'n Go" seating. If you are not familiar with it, go here. What an amazing addition of space to something that really doesn't have any issues with space! 3 total power outlets, one of which was an actual plug (!!!) which was designated to the DVD player for the kids..0
Other, quicker things: The ride was...okay, and so was the feel of that power to weight ratio trying desperately to get the van going. The thing is, if you're looking for a vehicle that has enough storage for a small house and drives like a sports car...I can't help you, and I doubt anyone else can either. The looks have improved vastly over the models of my childhood, and perhaps most importantly, you can find 1-2 year old models that are incredibly priced. Lastly, the middle "Stow 'n Go" panels feel very flimsy as you walk on them. They seem to support people's weight as they step on them, just fine even, I'm just saying be sure to avoid using them as a trampoline. Kid proof? If there is a type of vehicle that tries to think of kids first, it is a minivan. I can't imagine how much time we spent in our rental throughout the trip, but by the end it would have taken nothing more then a good vacuuming to get the interior looking amazing. Gas mileage? Averaged between 30-34 in a minivan carrying more stuff than most moving vans. I was sold.
Within three months of our trip to Oregon, I purchased the ManVan. A 2010 Town and Country, with a little less on the features, but otherwise the same.
So. Minivans are stylish. They have all the tech gear we can't seem to live without. There's roughly enough space to store the Grand Canyon, and there are vans that fit any budget. Especially if you are willing to check out even the most slightly used models. So leave the stigma at home because quite frankly, if you have young kids, a minivan is about the best decision you can make for your family.
Want my shopping rundown? Here it is:
Honda Odyssey - Nicest. Most Comfortable. Great Interior/Storage. Crazy Expensive. If money was no object I would have bought one in a second.
Chrysler Town and Country - Same storage as the Honda, but a little less luxury in the interior. Very comfortable and affordable. (Great used selection available from various rental companies)
Dodge Caravan - It's literally a Town and Country that doesn't have that "fancy" "wood" trim on the dashboard or on the doors. Little less on the price than the Town and Country. (Also lots of used available - had a tendency to be beat up a bit more or perhaps just show it easier)
Nissan Quest - Very pricey again, but not as bad as the Honda. Very comfortable, and had the best seating area for those in the back, which sadly killed a lot of the storage that the others had.
Chevy Uplander - Felt cramped in the back (and we are very short people), and very little storage capacity compared to the vans with "Stow 'n Go" however, by far the most affordable. They are not made anymore, so there are only used models around, but the most interesting was that some are 4 wheel drive. Nice feature for those of us who face the occasional ice-covered road or even a little dirt on the way to that perfect camping spot.
This year we took the kids from Idaho to Florida and back in the ManVan. I'd find it hard to name another type of vehicle that would have provided us with the ability to take that type of trip and get home with some level of sanity. I never thought I'd end up driving the vehicle that seems to scream, "We are parents! We have given up trying to be cool!" All the same, we are very happy to be minivan owners, and I'll be very happy to someday not be one as well.
------------------
I have friends who would say that I've owned a lot of vehicles. They might be right, but it really doesn't feel that way. I've had 4 total vehicles at 32 years old. 3 of the 4 were used.
My first car was a 1990 Dodge Shadow. It had a ton of miles, no air conditioning (in Florida), and the interior was really rough. I loved that car. It was probably that first car brainwash, but there really was something about it for me. Between help from my Dad and those crazy Pizza Hut paychecks I was getting, it turned into something I was proud to drive around.
The second car originally belonged to my sister. I took her 1996 Honda Civic hatchback, and she traded in the Shadow for her newest ride. I never quite settled into it. It was a great car, and I really can't say enough positive things about Honda vehicles, but the trade occurred at a time when I needed a bit more space. I was playing guitar in my high school's jazz band and between my guitar, giant amplifier, clarinet(that's right, I can trill like a badass), percussion stuff, and school books...well I tested out every cubic inch of possible storage that's for sure. I wasn't sad to see it go.
Third on the list will always get me a little choked up. My glorious Honda CR-V. The way I see it, there's two ways to shop for a vehicle. You can shop for the looks, which seems to end with that familiar buyer's remorse, or you can buy for needs. I think if you get a vehicle that has everything you need, you'll end up happier for a longer period of time. This of course extends the length you'll own your vehicle before getting bored with it. I never got tired of the CR-V, but it did get tired of running. After almost 12 years of fighting the good fight, it just couldn't keep going without the need for some heavier repairs. I'll put it this way, the trade in value of it by the end, mostly due to high mileage, was almost the same as the cost to fix it.
Which brings me to September of last year, and that's 2011 for you future mega-fans who are going back through the posting history.
We took a trip to Medford, Oregon. A very beautiful 10 hour drive in which we'd be transporting the following: Wife, Boys, my Mom, Me, luggage to cover 5 people for 4 days including lots of diaper related gear, additional fancy clothes for the wedding/dress rehearsal, double stroller, AND since I was doing the wedding cake I had an arsenal of mixers and decorating supplies. Now you might look at that list and say to yourself, "I wonder if he made little premixes of the cakes so he didn't have to buy everything in a town he wasn't familiar with." Well I did, and I'm happy to never try to bake/decorate a cake out of state ever again. I spent so much of the time feeling stressed that I don't know if I really said much of a "congratulations" to the bride and groom.
*pause for you to do a whiny impersonation of me in your head*
On the other hand, the minivan we rented to accommodate ourselves and what seemed like enough random items to fill an IKEA, was simply amazing...and less embarrassing to drive than you might think.
So this is sort of a review, and a story that lead me to the purchase of the ManVan. I am not being paid for my opinions on this vehicle and I was not asked by any person from any car companies to give a review, but here it is anyway.
---------------------
I've honestly liked minivans since I was very young. From the perspective of a little kid, there's just something really cool about having enough room to have little adventures in your own little world (while being safely buckled into your seat...I always wore a seat belt *wink*). On longer family trips the back seat was used as a bed for my siblings and I, in sort of a rotation system. There was always room for everyone to bring just about everything they owned, and yet somehow you still had access to at least two cup-holders. Minivans are a magical land, not unlike a T.A.R.D.I.S. (you're welcome, Dr. Who fans), in that they are bigger on the inside then you can believe.
Of course, the way the minivan handled or comfort to the driver; anything that might be important to the person who owned the van was never something I gave any interest. I could lay down in the back row with 5 sodas and the biggest walkman the world had ever seen, jamming out to The Boys, what did I care if the driver had no lumbar support?
When we first hopped into the rental, I was very impressed. I guess I really hadn't been in a minivan in quite some time, and without really taking note of changes being made in the minivan world over the years, I was pleasently surprised at how nice it was. It was a 2012 Chrysler Town and Country, and it was in about as perfect shape as you could ever hope for from a rental company. The first thing I noticed was that the interior space didn't feel like it had changed drastically over the years, but don't mistake that for a criticism, you'll have all the space you could ever ask for in a minivan. The second thing I noticed was that, thanks in no small part to the amazing technology we have nowadays, everything was very high tech. Touch-screen radio with navigation, power everything, and dual-zone air conditioning at the front that worked by specific temperature! Not that crappy blue to red zone junk that you can never get to just the right setting. There was also rear A/C controls for people in the back, as well as a special lighting strip down the middle of the ceiling to be used at night for that perfect little touch of light. It looked like the kind of lighting people would have installed in a limo. For the people up front, there was a total of 6 cup-holders, though two were designed to be accessible by the middle row of seats. The driver's seat had a 6 way electric adjustable setting, to get yourself as cozy as possible. Tons of controls at your fingertips, but not so many as to clutter the steering wheel. Then, my favorite part - "Stow 'n Go" seating. If you are not familiar with it, go here. What an amazing addition of space to something that really doesn't have any issues with space! 3 total power outlets, one of which was an actual plug (!!!) which was designated to the DVD player for the kids..0
Other, quicker things: The ride was...okay, and so was the feel of that power to weight ratio trying desperately to get the van going. The thing is, if you're looking for a vehicle that has enough storage for a small house and drives like a sports car...I can't help you, and I doubt anyone else can either. The looks have improved vastly over the models of my childhood, and perhaps most importantly, you can find 1-2 year old models that are incredibly priced. Lastly, the middle "Stow 'n Go" panels feel very flimsy as you walk on them. They seem to support people's weight as they step on them, just fine even, I'm just saying be sure to avoid using them as a trampoline. Kid proof? If there is a type of vehicle that tries to think of kids first, it is a minivan. I can't imagine how much time we spent in our rental throughout the trip, but by the end it would have taken nothing more then a good vacuuming to get the interior looking amazing. Gas mileage? Averaged between 30-34 in a minivan carrying more stuff than most moving vans. I was sold.
Within three months of our trip to Oregon, I purchased the ManVan. A 2010 Town and Country, with a little less on the features, but otherwise the same.
So. Minivans are stylish. They have all the tech gear we can't seem to live without. There's roughly enough space to store the Grand Canyon, and there are vans that fit any budget. Especially if you are willing to check out even the most slightly used models. So leave the stigma at home because quite frankly, if you have young kids, a minivan is about the best decision you can make for your family.
Want my shopping rundown? Here it is:
Honda Odyssey - Nicest. Most Comfortable. Great Interior/Storage. Crazy Expensive. If money was no object I would have bought one in a second.
Chrysler Town and Country - Same storage as the Honda, but a little less luxury in the interior. Very comfortable and affordable. (Great used selection available from various rental companies)
Dodge Caravan - It's literally a Town and Country that doesn't have that "fancy" "wood" trim on the dashboard or on the doors. Little less on the price than the Town and Country. (Also lots of used available - had a tendency to be beat up a bit more or perhaps just show it easier)
Nissan Quest - Very pricey again, but not as bad as the Honda. Very comfortable, and had the best seating area for those in the back, which sadly killed a lot of the storage that the others had.
Chevy Uplander - Felt cramped in the back (and we are very short people), and very little storage capacity compared to the vans with "Stow 'n Go" however, by far the most affordable. They are not made anymore, so there are only used models around, but the most interesting was that some are 4 wheel drive. Nice feature for those of us who face the occasional ice-covered road or even a little dirt on the way to that perfect camping spot.
This year we took the kids from Idaho to Florida and back in the ManVan. I'd find it hard to name another type of vehicle that would have provided us with the ability to take that type of trip and get home with some level of sanity. I never thought I'd end up driving the vehicle that seems to scream, "We are parents! We have given up trying to be cool!" All the same, we are very happy to be minivan owners, and I'll be very happy to someday not be one as well.
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