Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Dr. Meck, Home Scientist.

If there's anything I've learned from watching the movie "Young Einstein" (Not to be confused with Young Frankenstein), it's that science is basically just sitting around talking about beer atoms to a Chuck Berry cover. I never cared for beer or it's atoms, which might be why I never got into science in school. In fact, my most memorable moments from the science classes I took have to do with one teacher losing it during class and throwing a large number of glass beakers around the room, and getting a 69 on my biology test about reproduction. My friend got that grade too (and we didn't even copy each other) and our teacher refused to agree that while our grades were not the highest in the class, they were certainly the best.

Since high school, the extent of my scientific knowledge has basically dwindled down to knowing the chemical reactions made during baking and how they can be altered. That might be why I was not consulted when William decided to perform a little experiment.

When Melissa and I moved into our townhouse in Florida, I knew I wanted a la-z-boy chair that would be all for me. I got it. You bet I did. When we moved here and finally had the boys, the chair was a little less mine and a little more breastfeeding hub/baby rocking station. I wasn't really mad about it, the only thing I could really have been mad about is the fact that my chair was constantly being taken from me and getting all manner of baby stains on it. No big deal. All those stains came right out. Totally.

When William got big enough to climb up by himself, he'd often kick me out so he could watch his cartoons from..."my" chair. Which brings me to his little experiment. We keep lots of hand sanitizer in the house. There's one at the diaper changing station, one at the kitchen sink, and one on the pass through counter in between the kitchen and family room...which used to be located on the little end table by "my" chair. William is a fan of lotion and even likes to wash his hands, so I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when I found him leaning off the side of...."MY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" chair where he had reached the hand sanitizer bottle on the end table. It was obviously open and he had squeezed out, well not a lot, but let's call it a dollop because that's an awesome word. He had decided not to use it on himself, but in order to bring knowledge to the people, he left the dollop on the table to see what would happen.

So the research results are in. If you leave hand sanitizer on a wood surface for about 30 seconds, it will eat off the finish! You're all welcome. My son the scientist would like me to assure you that when he feels the need to answer other important questions of this nature, he will certainly make it happen. As a tip, if this does happen to you, I've found that the area where the finish is ruined makes a lovely permanent spot for a coaster.

Side note: I am fascinated and terrified by the results here and the fact that I put this stuff on my hands. Not to be too graphic, but remember that scene in Raiders of the Lost Arc where the Nazis open the arc and those two guys just full on melt? I'm worried that I might be doing this at a pace that is just too slow to realize. Never look directly at your bottle of hand sanitizer.

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