Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy Mother's Day! Jerks...

"Tender hands, and a smile, does not a mother make. The years she spent teaching you common sense is what it takes..." ~Julia Nunes

First, a very sincere Happy Mother's Day to any Mom that may stumble across this tiny blip of internet. Even beyond that I'd like to send out a Happy Mother's Day to all the mother figures. While I love my Mom very much, over the years I was lucky enough to have some amazing women in my life who I would certainly place in that category. From a slew of friend's mothers to my youth group leader to an awesome lady who at the time was an entire country away, I absolutely appreciate Moms and Momlike beings. Of course, a very special Happy Mother's Day to Melissa. You are so very amazing, and the boys and I love you so very much.

So all that's done.

Mother's Day kinda pisses me off. Truth is, that's only been for about 3 years, and you can probably see where I'm going with this.

Ah, Mother's Day. There's people who probably think of it in the way lots of people think about Valentine's Day. "It's a sham! It was invented by a bunch of cooperate stooges who want to sell cards and candy and flowers and jewelry and for some reason stuffed bears inside of balloons!*" While, I guess I won't deny the idea that people feel forced to buy various things for wife/mom/girlfriend for "holidays" like this, it is what it is...and that's not what bothers me.

In the time I've been alive, the number of stay at home Dad's have roughly tripled. It's actually even more dramatic in some other countries. Pretty crazy. In a study done last year they said that in the 70's around 1 in every 100 homes where a parent was at home full time, had the father at home. Now it's about 1 in every 8 homes! They say things in articles like, "Don't feel alone, Dads!" I can't say I really ever felt like I was the only male doing this, but 1 in 8 is pretty crazy. So my problem with Mother's Day is that it feels centered on ideas that are outdated. Let's bring Mom breakfast in bed so she doesn't have to cook today. Let's let Mommy do nothing today okay, she needs a break from you brats angels.

Look, I'll be doing my part to give Melissa a nice, relaxing day, but when I see ads all over the place about how I should be draping her in the softest silk from eastern countries...rubbing her feet with exotic oils made from rare flowers found only in a 2 acre portion of the rainforest...massaging her back with a special type of plant that's found in the deepest parts of the ocean and is said to feel like feathers from the wings of angels brushing softly against your skin...blah blah blah jewels from Jewel...anyway...when I see all that I've been a bit upset when the next month I hear the 10 year old Outback Steakhouse commercial saying, "G'Day mate! Boomerang! Get yer Dad a "steak" from Outback! Shrimp on the barbie! Paul Hogan! Crikey!"

This can't be news to people. When you compare Mother's Day to Father's Day, the celebration for us Dads is pretty much a cheap joke. To the point where it's marketed in a way of, don't you DARE forget Mother's Day, but for Father's Day...maybe just leave a card on the table. Not unlike the folks who leave a couple quarters in the hat of the homeless guy, but avoid eye contact the entire time. While I understand that the earning potential is much higher on Mother's Day, it's important to remember there are more and more Dads out there who are doing the things we associate with women, and they need a bit of pampering (perhaps a little different from what the women are looking for) too.

Seriously though, Happy Mother's Day!

*What the hell is up with these things? Here's your gift! Now pop the balloon, scaring you, me, the kids, and the dogs so that you can have the world's smallest stuffed animal or fake flower! I must love you a real lot!

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